Like, something spiteful I presume. Something said to someone about me? The second hand diluted opinion passed down from one set of ears to another…
Despite perhaps not being able to do something about it anyhow, what it would do is eat away at us. It may cause us to:
- Pick it apart
- Try adjusting ourselves to try and fit in the box of what we should be like instead.
- Stress and depress over it
- Hurt our feelings
- Give us a different perspective on the person altogether
- Question if It may or may not be true
- What If it wasn’t meant for our ears anyway?
- The source- Look at the persons who telling, what their intentions may be?
The reason why I wouldn’t want to hear what’s something has said about me is for many of the reasons listed above and because I figured if it was something unkind, that I wouldn’t say to myself in a sweet delicious moment of self-love or untruthful altogether all I would do then is pick it apart in my mind. Plus, I would spend time analyzing it and it would really agitate me.
Although the temptation of wanting to know something that was about you is there, its damaging. It is soul poison.
We must learn to resist the urge to try and hear it. Even if we think we can do something about it, maybe just to know for future reference, or to seek revenge. But really what would it do for us?
I learned this lesson long ago.
A girl I l had met several years ago gave me no indication that she didn’t like me, so a trusted friend had told me words she spoke of me; she thought that I should know. Though I was Glad that she did tell m. because otherwise I would’ve continued letting my guard down, with someone that had hidden intention. The words she spoke included ‘airhead’ and ‘she’s just too much for me’. Words I would never say to myself and words I haven’t heard said from people who love me. Not only that, what was the intention? Not of the person who told me because I trusted her (this is why I say you must seek the intention of the person telling you) but the intention of why it was said. Sometimes these things are said in a hot minute. Like Elizabeth Gilbert says “It wasn’t about you anyway”. It maybe that the person was feeling angry or irritated about something and just wanted target me? Or that she had felt that way about me even still, she never wanted to tell me to my face… not that I wouldn’t congratulated on her having the balls to do so, I would’ve respected her less. There’s no reason for maliciousness. If she really didn’t like me, she should’ve just stopped talking to me instead.
Later, after this, she would ask personal questions to me and me thinking we were good enough to share stories… maybe I would’ve just started spilling. God knows the person we get vulnerable with , where are stories may go, but sometimes you may just start by telling small things, little did they care and treasure it with great honour, they will decide to escalate it … or abstract it. Then my personal life would’ve been smeared everywhere. Out of me just being innocent to thinking that we shared the same likeness common ground.
If someone wanted to be real, I’d rather they never spoke to me. Or just keep it simple. We needn’t be best buddies, just keep civility.
Above all this, why would I want to hurt myself with someone else’s words? Why would I hinder myself love by poisoning myself this way? I would rather not know. It would do nothing for my self esteem, especially if it was nasty. It is one of the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz that:
“Don’t Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering”.
You’d go to sleep with all those words whizzing around your mind. You stay awake at night wondering what you did wrong, how you could change and try in a weak moment marvelling if it was even correct. Whilst that person lay sound asleep … then waking up waiting to say something horrible about the next person.
Was it ever about you?
Was it ever about me?
I’ll let you think about that.
Let’s not give a damn too much about others opinions. You be a prisoner of their opinions. It’s what you think of you and what I think of me that truly matters.
Wayne Dyer says it best “What other people think of me is none of my business”.
You have it.
Just return to sender.