Along comes trust.
It was Shakespeare who taught to “’Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.’ To love is a very open road where the heart flows. To do no wrong to someone works hand in hand with love, but to trust, a different guideline. Trust takes courage. It also takes a little intuition.
The problem trust can cause is it does make us a tad vulnerable. I was watching a TV programme once where singer Alesha Dixon spoke about her cheating ex partner. She was asked a question about trust and she stated that her mum advised her to “Trust everyone until they give you reason not to trust them”. This has stuck to me and I tend to take it with me with every person I meet.
Trust is a sticky topic. By my topic of trust lies within the trust of my authentic self. It’s about who you can let your walls down with. I’m not talking about big love; I’m talking about day to day meetings with all sorts of people. Trusting that, a simple greeting isn’t an invitation into your knickers. That a certain compliment won’t be taken the wrong way. It could lead to massive conversations about one’s personal life and it could mean sharing more than necessary. Sharing your softness with people who honour it, and don’t ill treat it. Sometimes this is done and we are faced with a shameful result. Some aren’t aware that others register your softness as weakness and may use to their advantage. More often than so this is the case. But I’m not one to shine negativity on anything. I do know very much now that it’s easy for folk to be as comfortable with you, that they get so use to crossing the line between being comfortable with you, then disrespecting you, that it can knock you aback. I find no reason whatsoever in attitude. I find no reason in rudeness. There is no justification.
I’ve come to know that I have trodden in life with a touch of simplicity. To be fair, I adore life this way. It works for me. I don’t want to always walk on eggshells and be cautious about people. I love the idea of keeping everyone as a blank canvas. A status ago, I wrote this:
“I give everyone a chance when I meet them. Totally fresh and brand new, I let you be the blank canvas. I hand you the paintbrush and every selection of colour. It’s up to you to paint the picture of WHO YOU ARE. Whatever you paint is up to you. The image I see you as is entirely what you have presented. So do take responsibility for yourselves as you build upon a relationship, not just with me, but with whomever. Watch how you outline your being. #Stay Authentic but #Be Aware . I don’t judge, I will understand. But I won’t be accountable for a mess you made of yourself”.
I remembers Author of the book ‘Calling in the One’ Katherine Woodward Thomas, said that the best advice for meeting a new person is to stay neutral about you. For a person like me, I feel suffocated when I do this but now I see why. Revealing my happier side to some people can only make me look, and I quote ‘like an airhead’. Staying on the topic of having a sense of humour, I can see that most people can stay in the safest lane possible when it comes to laughter. Many of course, believe laughter is left only for special occasions and not for everyday life. Being a girl who understands what it’s like to walk on both sides of the sword, the smoothness of being able to find the littlest joy in everyday is a walk into heaven on earth. I learnt the hard way of what it’s like to be everyone’s best friend about it. It doesn’t work. I got stung trying to think it did.
Real trust comes from being able to be this somebody with someone who doesn’t see it as an opportunity to see it as stupid. I figured if I can’t trust someone with this part of myself, who allows me to be my goofiest , I have learnt that I perhaps can allow them some love, give a small wave, and edge on. It was Brene Brown who taught me about shame and vulnerability and the importance of it. Is it naive of me to believe that this real self can only be shown to friends and family? Not colleagues. Or new found friends just yet?
I prayed for God to show me the truth about people. Not only did some disappear from my rose tinted vision but I started to see small glimpses of what people did in order to impress the person next to them at my expense. Perhaps because of my little sensitive self, I wouldn’t mind it. Little where they wrong, but wrong was I, for believing that I was is honoured for who I was in that moment. Devon Franklin spoke to Meagan Good in their book: The Wait stated that ‘God only shows your heart to people who he can trust it with’ My misunderstanding was that everyone saw my heart because they had deserved to, because they had no reason not to deserve it. Really, it was up to me who I undress in front of.
I know that throwing up walls can cause us to downplay our realest self.
I will not give up my softness and truth because of the fact that people cannot handle with care. So I will keep it this way. Seeing the people that I cannot share it with, they won’t seek its benefits. I will send them love and will be on my way. Speck by speck, with them who I can relax around, trusting them with who I am, trust will come along and stay.