Friends, associates, socialites and vibes.


As a person practicing her own Godliness (my definition for your highest spiritual calling, your highest call point to the divine) I’m so use to seeing the good in people. Whether that’s down to me just being naive or far too nice, I sometimes see little clues and somehow dismiss them. Never have I liked believing someone’s reputation over their character and getting to know them myself, I’ve found this sting more a burn when the truth is revealed. However….

I’ve come across situations where I’ve questioned people’s loyalty towards me. I found this especially with new found friends. I must say, Kindness is especially taken for weakness here. As I am open, I forget that kind of people I let into my life. I am very private with my deeply personal business. That barely links. But spending time with people who eventually always want more than just your company or for the sake of pure association and socializing to me is pretty sad. Yet some will still count you a ‘friend’ just because you get friendly.

That said vibes of a person is something that speaks louder than the words they do. Sometimes we are so willing to let all into our group but even as an associate this is a tad dangerous.  A friend is not the same as a classmate. A friend is not a colleague. It’s not a person you just jam with.

Having had, a close knit bunch since eleven, I have been showed a level of friendship that has been a marker point for new ones to kind of reach before they call themselves friends of mine. And vice versa. I just want to comment on a few things new found ‘friends’ shouldn’t do. For me, this sparks alarm bells.

  1. Ask for money.

Listen, we all get a little broke sometimes, but friends I have had would never ask. Not that I wouldn’t give, but they shouldn’t need to. If I was to give money, it’s because, I know something inside me says that a person is of genuine need. Some people will bleed you dry, play out the sympathy act and have an expectation.  They ask without shame and have no real intention of giving it back. They see you more a bank, than a being. It shouldn’t be asked for. Just given.

  1. Invite themselves to your place.

My mother and grandmother have always said that you should never get too comfortable with people, so much to the fact where they have barely known you, yet have a problem and feel your place has all the right answers.  You aren’t a hostel and your property should be respected as much as your friendship.

  1. Speak the same way they would in front of your face, behind your back.

Sometimes people feel they don’t owe this to you, as how can they? They have just met you right? Same way, they can sit and banter with you, there should be an inkling of loyalty there. I comprehend being two faced as a psychological problem. I also know that being nice should both in front of a person and behind them. If the same words can be said in front of you, then suddenly disappear when you’re not there. Either nice words quickly vanish or they weren’t true in the first place. They should speak well of you. They should think well of you.

So, do,

  1. Keep vigilant of who is true to you.

Following on from the above point, some people want to know what you’re doing, are out to get to know your business, but aren’t cut for knowing. Far too many times, I have allowed myself to be vulnerable not only with my woes, but with my character. I have found that I open up sometimes with people unworthy of knowing. Its times like this I feel much drained.

I remember sharing this status and indeed stand by it.

“One of my biggest regrets is being vulnerable, and then sharing my story with someone who never deserved to hear it. It’s like a drunken one night stand, but you giveaway your truth at the expense of your frailty”. #CarefulWithTheseMoments.

Do be careful who you share your heart with.

  1. You can THINK some people are your friends, but you should KNOW who your friends are.

I say this because there’s a huge difference between knowing and KNOWING. There’s the ‘yes, I know said with your mouth and the other within your being. There’s feeling it. They say ‘trust vibes as they don’t lie’ and I’m extremely for this. Sometimes we try to be nice and just take onboard everyone on our Ark, but not all animals are meant to board your boat.

 Soul Enhancers and Soul Destroyers

I once read (and shame on me for not remembering who) but a spiritual teacher once said that there are two types of people in your life: Soul Enhancers and Soul Destroyers. I shall explain: Enhancers: motivate, applaud, encourage, and nourish all your best self with love. The other parts they just help you work through. Soul destroyers (Trust your vibe deeply here) are the ones who focus on weak points, put you down, and use you to their own accord. More often than so I find myself excusing the small stuff. Its super important you look at how you would treat someone as opposed to how they treat you. Would you have said that to them? Was it necessary to be said at all? Could they have gone a different way about it? Was it an act of kindness or at out of spite? Feel it and you will know then. If they don’t embrace qualities your loved ones do steer away. They say we choose lovers like our fathers. Then we should friends like our mothers. (If your mum is like mine). Kind, loving and none judgemental)

If you have to question intention, they have somehow already lost your respect.  You should never have to second guess a friend.

‘You are the company you keep’. So who you hang with they represent you to a great deal. Keep it clean!

So, let all be true now. If all the above is something you should think -think twice about whom is you’re: Friend, Associate or Socialite. Trust the vibe that comes with it.





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