Relationships goals are more skin deep than just the love we give and receive. When looking above and beyond for relationship purpose, I have come to know that relationships serve a deeper mission.
For the younger me, being in love was the reason for a romantic relationship. I was somewhat obsessed with the feeling of it; I often grabbed any opportunity with both hands that would potentially give me that feeling. Nowadays I could never base the potential of a relationship on my beau alone, especially when being led by a very impulsive by temporary emotion.
I am intrigued by the notion of ‘spiritual partnerships’.
‘Spiritual partnerships are the most fulfilling, substantive, and deep relationships possible. They are relationships between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth’
They bring forth and strip away parts of us that we need to keep and some we need throw away.
Watching the film: Beauty and the Beast, I have reviewed some lessons. I will interlink this information on my newest love relationships.
- In relationships we often go in after our own beauty. We are high on the feeling and we glow within these circumstances. Feeling this way we are super concerned with how we are feeling, so it does become all about us.
- But then it throws into the deeper end when with become obsessed with our beau we also become obsessed with them and their beauty.
- Later, our beasts come through, bewitched with jealousy and insecurity. Our inner beasts over take us, and if our partners feel the same, they take their rages out on you.
- In the beginning in the relationships. We are vulnerable in our feeling. Where high can sink to a low, it’s easy to be battling the lengths of these emotions.
- As I have been taught by Harville Hendrix and La Kelly Hunt, relationships bring forth the wounds within us. They bring to the table, all the positive and negatives we have continued through our primary caregivers examples. Usually during this process, we often imitate our parent’s relationships in our relationship. We can either continue the good or continue the bad, either way what happens is, what we should work on… in terms of what we should heal in our new intimate role.
- To become a whole person our other half needs to help us extend us, by exercising our spiritual tendons of: love, compassion, understanding and positive leftovers (The beauty) and need to either tame or kill the: jealousy, anxiety, emptiness, and negative leftovers (The beast) installed in our early days, which need to be stripped away.
- Ultimately you balance out your beauty in you and in your partner. And for you both to equally succeed, they will do the same in you. You need to harmonize in each other light and dark in order to sustain wholeness.
- The beast in us is all the bad we have picked up and announced ourselves us. Generally this is the state of the ego. Our soulful state is our childlike self. The innocent and youthful. With only a trusted partner we can reveal this self. In the film beauty and the beast, it turned out the beast was beautiful all along. Not just in his physical loveliness but in his timid personality. Along the way he had become shaped by his externals. He characterized himself by what he had. With this he became shallow. Belle didn’t make him beautiful. She just helped him bring out his beauty, and take off his beastly attributes.
- The beast is the ego. The beauty is the soul.
Whenever I speak of new relationships, I bare this idea in my mind. Becoming intimate is the scariest part. Intimacy in the physical form is also a massive blindfold. Was my uncle who expressed the notion that “just because a guy could give you an orgasm, that doesn’t mean you should fall in love with him”. Too much perhaps, but very true. Often its people who do become wrapped up in thinking that if he or she can sex you well, that they must really like you. This is because the serotonin levels awaken the brain and cause it to trigger happy thoughts and feelings. But no, just for the fact they can sex you good; don’t mean they can love you good. That’s a completely different lane.
Raw intimacy comes from truly getting to know a person: spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Not just through woundology, as Caroline Myss expresses (To paraphrase), people share their wounds often think this makes for an intimacy exchange. By giving someone your victim story they will fall deeper in love with you and try and help you. When indeed, all this does in keep you a victim. And it makes you appear your weaker self in front of your partner. It’s selling a story so you can be treaded on carefully. But real wound sharing comes from a deeper, more painful place. Not a pity party.
Successful wound sharing comes from your vulnerable state. Anyone can take off their clothes in front of you despite body issues, we gain confidence maybe in that field, but with our emotional stripping, we can’t be so quick to do so. It’s when you stand whole, but you decide to share what you need to in terms of the real trust. When you know someone will not use your wounds against you. You can’t turn up into a relationship with the idea ‘I am broken someone will fix me’. Instead, you build your wholeness and want to use that in a bond. All come with their own. You come forward with your own emotional baggage, it’ll be more about what you’re willing to give, and then willing to get. In Katharine Hepburn’s words: It’s about what you’re willing to give, which is everything”. Giving cannot not be from a person who turns up, self admittedly needy. And neither can getting been valued from a person who is greedy. Both parties must turn up ready, and a wholesome as possible, for true spiritual work to take place. Or even really at least one to be spiritually awakened.
If only I understood the purpose of such an important assignment, before I began dating would I have treated love affairs different. Then I jumped into the practical before being aware of the theory. With the theory now in the back of my mind, spiritual relationships are much more my goal from now on in terms of love. Funny thing, watching beauty and beast as a kid, Disney’s version, I only gained one lesson: to not judge a book by its cover you know; Real beauty lies within. Years on, there is much more. Far from regret, but glad I know this now, and not later.