One’s past

The first part of this article is published VIA under my author name :sshheezzuuss





  • Secrets

Now, unless a person has committed a serious offense, for let’s say: Murder or Paedophilia, a criminal record may not be of importance. However saying this, a fraudster or a robber may have clues to a person’s nature. If a person is maybe capable of doing so to the law, imagine the possibilities of what one can do to you? It may have been a mishap or a onetime only, but still, these qualities can overtake a person. Greed is a selfish motivator.

  • Truth or business?

Why lie when being asked? It’s said that ‘Honesty is the highest form of intimacy’. Plus, ‘An expensive gift not given by cheap people’. But sometimes you just are curious to know about a person past. I let slip sometimes some stories that have happened between me and my Ex’s. Accidentally, moments have become a part of the banter. I don’t mind sharing, as long as my partner isn’t going to hold it against me in an argument. Some have done, but I suppose that says more about them rather than me. You have to let what you hear go lightly.

If it more serious like if your partner has a history of bed hopping, cheating or has got to an age where he should have at least one serious relationship, you might want to be weary that unless you are the exception to the rule, you might be in for a shock.

Why Not

  • It’s about the present

Where we have been may make up for a lot of your present DNA, but it isn’t the ultimate dictation of who you are presently.  Whoever a person’s shown up   at this particular time you’ve met IS EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE. Regardless you see potential or not. It’s what they show you. Watch and listen. Just because he’ or she was held down in previous relationships doesn’t mean they could be the same with you.

  • Avoiding Shame &  Judgement

Everyone has a chapter they don’t want to read aloud. Sometimes God shows us who we aren’t so we can get clear on which we are. We must ride out all aspects of characters’, sometimes to appreciate more parts of us. Let’s say: sometimes, appreciating the fact we no longer feel depressed about our self image. So now we embrace ourselves more healthily by accepting our body the way it is.

Sometimes we feel shame about our sexual history and this leads to me to…

  • Your number is your number – previous sexual partners, former lovers.

I joked once that that a woman should never reveal three numbers: her age, her dress size and her past partners. This goes for men too. But really, this is just an episode of life until one meets their beau. If one can remember of course… but this is only about insecurity. I had an ex who as insecure about it because he wanted to beat my score because this made him feel like a man. But one never cares so much if a person has had them. Sex is just sex. What’s more important I would say is if that person has loved before. Here you can get an understanding of the history of their heart. Maybe they have been hurt in the past. Certain things they couldn’t put up with anymore. not to mention: Jealousy.

Plus, you must clarify whether the person is actually over their past or not. You don’t want to take the bed of rebound. But you must’ve let yourself be emotionally involved when one isn’t at a place to give as healthily as you. The depth and substance of character has been built through their intimate past. Like with understanding character, it goes hand in hand. But remember it’s through the eyes you see rather than the mouth that’s spoken from and its really, like it is up to them what they do with it, it’s down to you what you want to do with it too.

Me: I’m very open but also very private. Some parts are to and for me.  I may reveal some but not all. I don’t think you could ever pour out each and every detail because you have nothing left for me, me and me. I’m just a loner like that. But it just depends how that’s interpreted.

Wrapping up

Technically, all the fragments of a person are combining of the trilogy the past, the present and who they are striving to be in the future. When we see potential we might give a chance. Not everyone is set out to hurt. Not everyone is set out to heal. All this said, checking on a CV Of one’s past life, doesn’t necessarily determine anything.  At this present time what’s only guaranteed is what your build together. That’s the making of history that really matters- Both healthily contributing.

At the end of the day, when a person loves you they see you at your core. Not all that’s gone on around the outskirts. If one wants to be recognized for who they are at their origin they must first act in accordance to it. If you want your past to be wiped away, focus on that.



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