The F word

The beginning half of this article is published via Infinity House magazine under my author name : sshheezzuuss

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In therapy, I learnt a technique from CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy). It used to change the way we think and act in terms of how we feel. Sometimes when I felt down, I would look for someone to help lift me up. Sometimes it helped. But this meant me choosing to spend my company with a person for the sake of woes and seeking advice from wrong buddies.  Fears of being alone lead me there.  Being vulnerable, as Brene Brown taught as healthy vulnerability by ‘sharing with the right person, the right story at the right time’. Not searching for someone to take away my troubles, get me to feeling my best. Or for pure euphoria, which is easily mistaken for love.

It is being able to challenge your own reasons and deeds by acting against a thought or feelings.

Let’s say you were feeling down, for an emotional eater that would mean over eating for comfort and maybe trying to make themselves feel better. But, if one was in a frame of positive mindfulness, instead of this, one can guide them into ignoring those thoughts. Instead, acting against it by choosing to eat less than what you would, eating better by picking different food , or tasking their mind off food completely by questioning if they are actually hungry or not.

If you act in love rather than fear your world would change immensely. Love is where we came from; fear is what we were taught.

Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic.

Awfully, some people fear that being themselves would scare people off. No one wants to hang out with someone who is too different right?  Wrong. I know many keep themselves hidden because they are afraid if they spoke their opinions and thoughts (nicely, of course) that they wouldn’t be liked. So they lead a second hand life, being half of who they are at their fullest.  For me, the only way to conquer this is to declare you to want to live as authentically as possible. That means: wearing the jumper with the odd stripes, luminous colours, UN matching ‘don’t care outfit’ and not following fashion. Not everyone stands brave enough to express their being wholly.  You may not be in the best job, live in the grandest area, but this doesn’t mean permission to be you should be limited.

“Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us” Marianne Williamson.

Definitely this amount of productivity is a protest. However that doesn’t mean to say it cannot be done. What I try to scare myself into is regret. Nothing is worth the regret of looking back and wishing’ I could’ve and I should’ve’ done. I may not have it all on the outside but I know if I get my act together from within than outside will manifest. Fear cannot have the last say. You fight back by taking care of it little by little. Envision yourself looking back at the life you could have lived if you weren’t scared to

To beat it, you need to really show it the real F word. This is what it needs, perhaps good for a tinsy bit of discipline, but not really a way to live- tiptoeing rather than making a stand.








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