Lead by example with your kindness.


It never occurred to me how much a greeting really meant. You never had to be best buddies with someone to see them stand right at you and past them like they are wind. It never cost much just to say a hello or even a goodbye. To pass a smile in fact, I don’t know really if it’s just ill manners or just shyness. Anyhow…  being stingy with a Hello or a smile, really steals you of your power. It does let you lead by example with your kindness.

This coming Christmas and New Year was a chance for strangers to have an excuse to break the ice in speaking to each other. Despite race or ethnic background, people all have a universal celebration that they all embraced. There was reason to greet each other, to wish each other well, to be bonded by something that took up so much of the airs aura.

As retail girl, it was reason to extend in to more chat. Furthering on asking if what they wanted was either Christmas or New Years Eve related. Onwards from ‘thank you, good bye’, a “Have a  Merry Christmas or “Happy New Year” would be dropped in just to enhance the lighter love between human to human.  For most this was for most, with somewhere, I was still in a disturbance.

Whatsmore, through text messages, phone calls and our world of social media, using this even as an excuse to horizon to all people who you have not spoken to in months, years even. To use this as an icebreaker to put aside all the distance and just focus on re building a relationship that has likely collected dust. Instead, still, we remain in hiding.

To send the first Christmas card, to write a message randomnly reminding them of the good times you once shared. Even to send a friends request to someone you just want to get more in touch with just mutual friends apart from an association. Not for the sake of being noisy. Even on social media, we work on a like for like policy. ‘You like my picture, I like yours’ you like my status; I’ll like your back’. Why can’t we just be genuine and just like for the sake that we just either: find it funny, or equally relate to it without a kind of ego hidden agenda?

I don’t know what it will take sometimes for someone to want to just be the first to put out their hand, lean forward for a kiss on the cheek or ask for a hug, without getting something back. It should be about the simplicity of showing love, kindness, and thankfulness to the person. Through action of a simple gesture.  None of the “he/she never texted me first” business Sometimes we don’t like showing our softness, our true feelings because we are afraid we will expose weakness.

When I use to take my Godson to school, I was amongst many firsts. Them who do the school run, who are alien to all mothers around them. I noticed I would barely get smiled at. Maybe, I could’ve been that my Godson was five and I nineteen, twenty so there maybe snobbery. But still, without that kind of judgement, we were all in the same boat. So where was the greeting? The ‘I know what you must be feeling, I feel it as well’.

I know many are hidden in trap of this. I do know of people who set themselves up like you must be nice to them first for them to be nice to you. You must speak first for them to speak to you.  I beg to differ. I’d rather begin with it. So I can show what I am about. Least I have made my peace. I have lead by my example of kindness and whatever happens from that, I know what my intention was. I know that I just want to be authentic about who I am and that shows it. and because as my mother always said if you are the one who is naturally like that, then it shouldn’t be no skin off your back.

I for one am guilt of sinking into myself. Naturally I am outgoing. I never took much for me to say the first hello etc.  I am a born conversationalist and barely suffer from shyness. I do have a tendency of going into myself, especially when I have a crush, and REALLY like someone, or have a wall up against a person. (Lets face it, you can be kind till your blue in the face and someone will still have something ill to speak of you) so I will level up my guard a little. I do have my boundaries per person.  You choose to distance and that’s fine, but I won’t run after you. Yet, when it comes to newbie’s, I offer them blank canvas; it’s up to them to paint their own picture.

Since we live in world where we would rather ghost follow the people we want to be connected with, just for the sake of pride, so be it then.  But if a girl like me shy’s away especially when shyness is unnatural to me, where do the rest of you guys stand?

For one to want to stand so close to Godliness you must be able to get on the same level of the people you want to touch. You mustn’t make people feel that they must climb to you, make them feel like are below you. You should want to be on the same level to help lift a person up.  We aren’t talking dictatorship instead leadership. It’s about setting an example to show someone what you are about. It doesn’t take much to extend you to another person. There is such thing as openness. Being private is a different matter. You aren’t giving out your bank details; you’re not being nakedly vulnerable. You’re just saying Hi. Snobbery never appealed to me. I am more fascinated by a person’s degree of connection, how they treat others and how free they are about themselves.  When a person truly loves themselves, they don’t mind being first to show up that they do by passing that simple love unto another. Researcher of shame and vulnerability Brene Brown says we are all hardwired for connection- That we long to feel contact to each other. Not that we need deep intimacy per person. We just need to remember to roll down the windows of pride sometimes and rise above. Show up for the sake of your spiritual health and literally just say Hello first.





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