Abstinence: Setting aside the sexual activity….A way forward or centuries back?



Lately, I have become particularly fond of extracts of the  :The Wait  written by, Minister and Director Devon Franklin and Award Winning actress Meagan Good,  The  limelight of the book is on relationships, love and dating today. Though I am spiritual and without a religion, I would say I am drawn to the concept of this book.  Abstinence to be precise is one that has secured my focus.

After ten months of dating, locked vows and became husband and wife.  Two, very modern day people, famous too. Despite the temptation they faced of each other, both believed the fact that their bond became strong was the fact they had both decided to practice celibacy before dating each other and had kept themselves from sexual intimacy till they married.

The Wait, speaks that sex ‘ties us in knots’. The world is flooded of the idea of sex, but yet we are persecuted for using it wrongly. The hardest thing is that most of us do not recognize the dangers of the misuse of sex. Yes- we gain temporary satisfaction, boost for the ego, and much sexual experience. We are yet to fulfil the real meaning of what sex is really about.

Sex without emotion is like gluing wood with Pritt stick. A weaker approach to bonding sex with emotion, one part or the both parties, it tends to create a sort of connection and the unstitching creates pain. Its purpose is to cement all real emotions, and feeling creating closer adjoining. When misused, causes lessen self esteems; because a spiritual rift between mind body and soul.

As well, as I have swayed in my previous articles, jokingly of course towards the notion of ‘ successful sluts:

Previous articles exploring sexual freedoms.


I am still to be believe that both men and women become who rush into sexual chemistry see a   jaded person when they begin this way. Rather than seeing them as they appear, without sexual persona.  Sex for those who are promiscuous, is not gender partial. I wondered if relationships failures where due to the mixture of sexual chemistry being abused

Just like it takes processed food seconds to make, cheaper to sell and much easier to get access too, sex. The same now not confusing what sex is about. I know when you’re sexually shared with a person who you love; sex is a sudden act of lust. However, just like when romantic love fades away, we have nothing to latch onto, so when the clouds are moved the grey sky and the sky is just clear blue, we see the person for the reality that they are.

Can putting sex to the side make us have a better judgement on character? Is it realitic to save sex until marriage?

 “Sex was really easy. There was sex everywhere. It didn’t really mean too much. Love, love was the hard thing to find. Even if you were looking for it, which not too many people were? And even if you found it, which not too many people did, even if it was right there in front of you. No; how could you see it with all the sex in the way?” TJ, GIA

You know, I never dismiss the idea of sex, But I do condone that it is very much misused nowadays. Seemingly, the non religious and the ones who wish to remain in partnership without the cementing of martial vows will also find trouble with this notion. We must recognize this to say the least. Pressing on with the idea, that abstaining from intercourse for several months or even upon a year could be the equivalent to abstinence in reverence to modern day dating.

Sexuality is a powerful thing and our sexual persona is fascinating but we must note that although our sexuality is a part of us, it is not our overall definition. We, as open sexual beings have the tendency to rush into it, because we usually are fast enough to open our legs before our hearts. Get naked with our bodies before our emotions. A woman is my opinion labelled much more than men are and more to the point, either way scrutinized. I do agree with the couple that the kind of sex that being promoted doesn’t give a real definition of what sex is actually about.  Sometimes, it can be that we are giving away our true benefits without realising it. To some, the treasure of a person could be getting sexual and that’s the intention to others, could be so that

Although we are in a very modern time keeping some things traditional would do us some justice in terms of our relationships. Abstinence, I assume in contrast to free sexual behaviour is rarely spoken of in the western world. More to say, there is more emphasis in the world of religion

I pass no judgement on genders being active sexual beings. However, I would like the world to be educated on what sex is meant for. Therefore we would be more careful on how we would pick our partners, secondly, more respectful about how we use our bodies. Even so,  we could envision the idea of holding out to intensify emotional, mental and sexual intimacy.


In a cosmos, where we highlight promiscuity, prettify celibacy as well as, seeing as both have equal goods.



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