Riding or Dying?

 

 

The term; ‘ride or die’ is often used as a term in the urban dictionary used for standing by your man.  For unconditional loving- a definite rule. To know that standing by a person no matter what they do as a concrete commitment.

Now, as we are not always in Bonnie and Clyde mode in all aspects of our relationships especially those whom we are intimate with, I do wonder if this term and being able to stand by your man by all means, whatever the weather is realistic.

I was watching an episode of  Love and Hip-Hop and one of the main protagonist whom I began to like over time Chrissy, who also was seven year girlfriend to Rap star Jim Jones, mentioned the fact that in the land of hip hop that there was a very grey shaded area where she was neither ‘blind nor stupid’ to knowing about. She also mentioned that she knows as long as her man is loyal to her heart and feelings she remained solid in her relationship. On top of this as long as she never, heard, felt, or saw anyone of it then that’s all the matters to her. She expresses her love for her beau and I totally feel that she is a woman worth keeping.  Her loyalty is undeniable.

Although this sat ill fitted with me, I speculated that he had most probably got with a few girls whilst on the road, and of course being in that lifestyle girls flaunt themselves at men and I do question the couple had lived in a non gangster environment if the rules would still apply?

I begun to see that it was a case of understanding her relationship is in relation to the urban lifestyle of gangsters, girls and gold. She able to set a boundary, not being stupid but same into getting what she wanted from her partner without him crossing the line.

Unlike Chrissy, some folk seem to put this level of commitment without a boundary. Although love should like a flow of the ocean from the heart, some are undeserving for it.

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  • Being able to love without conditions is a ride or dies caption for loving anyone
  • Being able to stick by a fella, whatever he does is a dutiful mission.
  • Dying in the process on the other hand isn’t.

What I mean by dying is compromising yourself and all your borderlines on how you want to be treated and loved. Plus, when you aren’t receiving the love you are giving is also when you may need to put your foot on the break.

In Kardashian land, the example of Khloe and Lamar Odom springs to mind because even after in the process of divorce, Khloe was still able to assist Lamar through healing whilst having gone through a near death experience. This was for sure a dutiful act. But what Khloe does is set boundaries and recognizes that even before the separation that she was getting all she could from her husband, even though she was willing to give anything.

They are plenty who do not give the love that you would as a fair exchange. Although you are responsible for your half of the relationship, you are also obligated to check rear-view to see if that love you should be in receipt of is closely following up.

The margin of ride or die outside urban terms is a reasonable statement to make when standing by your mister. But to flip the coin, loosing yourself in the matter isn’t. Be honest with who you are and what you want. It’s safe to walk hand in hand, and not play doormat. As long as you aren’t getting taken for granted .

 

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