Can feelings be arranged along with a marriage that has been set up between flesh rather than spirit?





In the messy world of emotions  & feelings, we get told to follow our hearts. We all know full well, this well advertised prophecy leads us into many catastrophic situations.  Romantic love via Falling in love can be the spark of a sea of flames, or a volcano and its downfall. Many of us depending on our emotional build-up can sometimes mistakes those feelings for real, true love or confuse them with feelings of loneliness and comforts. In the end, all else fails and we are left either picking up the pieces or trying to sense them all together. You’ll catch the feelings, you won’t be able to fight them off ,but you can figure out what to do with them.

It is very common for this scheme to set upon to unlikely persons whom wouldn’t be chosen to be matched. Not by humans itself anyhow, for they cannot see the spiritual plan for the two.  Both of their Godliness somehow lights the fire, and it’s up to them to keep the flame. It leads me unto the topic of arranged marriages. This set in motion the investigative thought:

Can feelings be arranged along with a marriage that has been set up between flesh rather than spirit?

A little research

Gary Zukav in his book : Seat of the soul, touches upon the fact that arranged marriages cater to the physical well being of a person, not the spiritual evolution.

In his book, Deeper Dating by Ken Page, Page suggests that arranged marriage do fit the bill of a healthy foundation of relationship because both partners feel obliged to stay in the ongoing matrimony due to cultural and religious values.

To live the life that all around is the structured form of how happiness should look is in fact not fitted for every soul. Some souls, seek different destinations. And by God that’s still ok! As for some, chaos on the outside may be the irony to the inside and perfection on the outside could be irony for the destruction interiorly. .

Let’s face it, if we could choose who we could fall in love with, we’d pick them, simple and less complicated?

In the film The wedding planner: a piece of dialogue that stayed with me was that within the conversation of father and daughter on the topic of arranged marriages:

Then the appreciation grew to respect. Respect grew to like. Then like grew to love. A deeper love than I could ever hope for. So give Massimo a chance. Maybe you don’t like him now. But maybe you might love him later”.

Maybe …the western world could be at fault?

Be it that your marriage may take care of you financially, physically too but spiritually its destroying you… Depending on what you’re put first and consider important you’ll end up with whichever you know. Be it that your happiness and willingness to stay together for property or even to be considered good parents… is this compromise enough?

In my opinion, the frame of arranged marriages does prevail in the western world. The problem of the western world is that its freedom is abused. We are free to come and go where we please, but we can take this for granted. A relationship that can be worked on instead of putting together to the effort in staying, more is gone into the leaving. One must decide if the crisis is more than a breakdown of relationship or the person themselves.

Part Two.

Catharine Woodward Thomas, Therapist and Author of the book: Calling in the One, spoke once in a lecture about the things we want and that for me has always been a deeper connection. I don’t know about everyone but I sure do know about myself and that’s this: to be lonely alone I can for sure accept, but to be lonely in my relationship. No. I could not have us both suffer. If I am not equipped emotionally to want to give or receive my job is to leave, For the sake of us both. Two bodies does not equal two souls matched in harmony.

Devon Franklin and Meagan Good defined their moment of being brought together as:

“A spiritual physical concussion, like a jolt of electricity to the heart,”

Then further to describe:

“Two souls that God had been guiding towards each other for years had navigated through all the plots twists and jumped all obstacles to come together at last”

And following on:

Real love personally, can only do the work of love that it promoted in Margery Williams: The Velveteen Rabbit:

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are real you don’t mind being hurt.’

What the western world also abuses is the power of romantic love and freedom of sexuality. They in fact legalize this by tying the knot without questioning if the person is not just for the moment, but could help assist their growth and spiritual development.

If ones heart cannot stay and continue to love and grow with that the one chosen, then its goodwill that they do the other adjust as this will, in the meantime, feel the hurt and let the other go. It’s emotionally draining to play pick up with someone who just doesn’t want to be picked up.

A loving relationship shouldn’t require a painstaking amount of effort, but an attempt that comes from within. It shouldn’t feel like you a job you must do in order to maintain your physical conduct, but a more career like gesture, so you would naturally and spiritually want to work at it. Godliness, the divine force of nature, knows your spiritual DNA and all underline weaving and threading.  My spirit holds that needle.

Star examples:

Marriages that fail are still successful when they bring the other to a higher level of spiritual evolution. The relationships don’t have to meet at the end of the earth to show they have done each other well.

My old time inspiration so that of Elizabeth Gilbert. In her memoir: Eat Pray Love, taught me many lessons. But the narrative of the story was that, in her marriage, Gilbert was in despair. She had all the outside world could want, and desire: a career, home, and marriage, but was strongly unhappy. This story to me a metaphor for all people who think that happiness is not just a beautiful decorated shell that inside, the furniture compliments the same. It’s for all those people who think that all these things in order bring joy and without them, then you then fall into to be unhappy.

Songbird Christina Aguilera is a classic example. Marrying Jordan Bratman healed her childhood wounds, made her whole and now I can now see she is more settled in herself as a woman and dating as her, with her new partner. In her song’ stronger than ever’, it only backs that up. “How you hurt me and you don’t see it, again I am the child”.

Reason I have handpicked these two examples is because these were marriages made by choice, not aligned by others. The significance is to demonstrate spiritual evolution.

The best advice to would give is to make sure you are so educated in the stages of love, the kind of person you are and what more important is what you are willing to give. What’s given back can only be divine, is one has a healthy level of a radar, that can detect what more right, wrong and realistic. Following on from children and properties? Do answer if a child has ever benefited from seeing a loveless marriage before their eyes, without communication, with friendship, without any sense of development between the two… And ask yourself if co parenting is a bad idea?  Then as for property, is your ultimate happiness based on something so materialistic?


To answer my question:
Can feelings be arranged along with a marriage that has been set up between flesh rather than spirit?

Is wholly dependent on which one requires yearning for more.


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